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Preacher and I love a good found footage horror movie. Sadly there isn’t any, so we watched these instead. We put ourselves through this shit so you don’t have to.

As Above, So Below (2014)

Nosey tourists pissing about in the tunnels below Paris. If a wall is laced with the skulls of the fallen, I generally take that as a hint not to proceed.

Obviously it’s a bad idea. Of course it is. Getting lost is not part of the plan, neither is being attacked by supernatural forces. Like ALDI on a Saturday night. Inevitable shit storm ensues with added death.
Preacher Rating: 🥾🥾🥾🥾🧸🎃

Exists (2014)

Campers get their heads stoved in by Bigfoot. Bigfoot as it turned out, is neither a friendly 7ft carpet thing as ‘Bigfoot And The Hendersons’ promised me in my childhood. Neither is he a monster truck. Gutted.

5 Campers Vs 1 Chewbacca. It can only be a win for ole hairy balls. Preacher rating: 🙊💀💃💃

Hell House LLC (2015)

An actual gem in the genre. Hell House provides a slow burn, but with enough teasing attributes to keep you watching. It relies on a building an unsettling atmosphere than short sharp shocks.

A team of 20 something’s rent out the Abaddon Hotel to use as a ‘Haunt’ attraction for Halloween. Pants are shitted into a brown abyss.                     Preacher rating: 💀💀💀💀🤡🌭

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2007)

A little difficult to find. It WAS on YouTube but I’m not sure if it still is. Another of the better genre offerings. It may look amateur, but it’s far from it.

A look inside the mind of a serial killer via the left self-filmed VHS evidence. Preacher wasn’t keen on this, but being fair he’d also eaten a dodgy slug and shit all over the astro turf.                                                               Preacher rating:🐌 💩💩💩💩💩💩📼

Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

An early effort that is pretty infamous in its own right. A professor finds a film crews footage after they vanished whilst filming the Amazon’s indigenous cannibal tribe. Serves em fucking right if I’m honest. Found footage movies are the perfect antidote to nosey pricks.

Obviously the tribe don’t take kindly to being interfered with by sausage sandwiches. The only film known to man that Splinter won’t let the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles watch. If you know, then you know. Preacher rating: 💀🐢💀😋🎥

The Tunnel (2011)

Another of the top tier. A journalist and her team head into the abandoned tunnels below Sydney. Therein they find a magical doorway to Middle Earth. They don’t, that was a blatant lie.

They’re in the shit. To quote Trap Door, “Cuz there’s something down there”. As an Australian film, it’s easily better than Crocodile Dundee 2. Then again, what isn’t? It’s like being buggered by a potato peeler. Preacher rating: 🌑🌑🌑💀👣🚇