lanternamp
-

Christmas In The Apocalypse
We all thought the end would come in the form of a nuclear war, or at…
-

10 Found Footage Films…You’ve Probably Never Seen!
Love it or loathe it, we’re all aware of the runaway smash hit The Blair Witch…
-

Byker Grove: The Rise And Fall Of PJ’s Eyes
“SPUGGY MAN!” If you’re of a certain age (old) like me, you’ll remember the weekly up…
-

The Animal Kingdom Is Full Of Absolute Bastards
You may have read my recent post on why dolphins are total ass hats. Turns out…
-

Phil: The Magic Sausage
You have inadvertently clicked here and have now visited Phil, the most magical sausage there has…
-

THINGS THAT I HAVE SEEN WITH MY EYES. BY PREACHER AGE 4 ¼
I DISLIKE SOME THINGS. OTHER THINGS ARE LICKABLE. I SOMETIMES STILL LICK SOMETHINGS I DISLIKE. I…
-

Console Games That Your Scruff Mate Might Have
Gaming is more lucrative than the film industry in this age. There’s no longer an expected…
-

Why I Become A Narcissist On Public Transport
I sit here sweating in general sadness. My ninja themed Covid facemask adorns my greying features,…
-

When Sharks Are Crap
We’ve all seen Jaws (if not, why not?!), which is the daddy of all shark movies.…
-

Why Dolphins Are Despicable Entities
Can I just start off by saying I actually personally hate jellyfish more than dolphins. No…
-

Memes To Make You Look Thick If You Share Them On Facebook
Love seeing a pic of your favourite movie or series with a quote attached to it…
-

That Time My Dog Was An Actor And Thought He Was Posh
Preacher (the dog in question, and yes I know it’s an unusual name) has had a…
-

TV Shows I Miss: V The Final Battle. Lizard Bastards.
V is for Victory my friends, apart from when its not. Which is actually now, as…
-

Garbage Pail Kids: The Currency Of The 80s Playground
They can’t be many of us that have never owned a pack of Garbage Pail Kids…
-

The Best Cartoon Themes I Could Think Of While I Ate Breakfast Part 2
The title kind of describes it all perfectly. If you read part one (why wouldn’t you…
-

The Best Cartoon Theme Tunes I Could Think Of While I Ate Breakfast
As children (41 year old child right here) a cartoon having a sing-a-long theme would be…
-

The Worst Album Covers I Found Online As I Couldn’t Be Bothered To Get Out Of Bed. Part 3
Another day, another slice of laziness. In my defence, it’s raining and I sexually identify as…
-

Fighting Fantasy Books Are Still Too Bloody Hard
From the off, I’m going to tell you that I’ve always been rubbish at the works…
-

The Worst Album Covers I Found Online As I Couldn’t Be Bothered To Get Out Of Bed. Part 2
I honestly had fun doing the last list, and I’m ridiculously lazy (I’m in bed right…
-

The Worst Album Covers I Found Online As I Couldn’t Be Bothered To Get Out Of Bed
So, you’ve poured your heart, soul and possibly finances, into releasing your album. Time for the…
-

Kid Shows To Cry To
Life’s not all Tellitubbies and Wizadora. Remember that time Bagpuss got smashed, knocked fuck out Professor…
-

Things Wish thinks I need in my life. Part 2
If you read the first part, then you know how this works. Wish advertises things on…
-

Things Wish thinks I need in my life. Part One
Wish has been knocking about, pedaling it’s unbranded Chinese factory seconds for a while now. I…
-

TV Shows I Pondered Whilst Drinking Cheap Lager
I’m never surprised at the amount of tat that arrives on TV. Shows such as ‘Dating…
-

Found Footage Films I went and watched with my dog. Part One.
Preacher and I love a good found footage horror movie. Sadly there isn’t any, so we…
-

The World’s Most Rubbish Toys
Anyone that knows me knows I have an odd penchant for knock off toys that possibly…
-

My Favourite Awful Movies. Part One
The Edge Of Hell: Aka Rock ‘N’ Roll Nightmare Jon Mikl Thor does not give one…
-

About Me
Hi I’m Paul, Prince of Eternia and defender of the secrets of Castle Greyskull This is…
