Doginawaistcoat.com

So if you’ve ever felt like you’re in a room of people that are just mediocre, maybe one of them is even talking about their holiday home, then this is plain unacceptable. But it’s ok. I got ya. Slowly, and (more importantly) sexually undo your shirt to reveal one of these bad boys

Guaranteed conversation starter.

What the fuck are Spurfs? Why are they at Auschwitz? For fucks sake what is wrong with you?

I get all these questions. But this is why they’re a conversation starter.

If you ever watched Rude Dog and the Dweebs, then you know that this isn’t a bad description. Fuck knows what breed Rude Dog was.

Pink Eye’d Toddler Shaker?

“Hey, I’m EATING HERE”

I’ll be honest with you, I’m team Tom. He’s doing what’s  natural for him. Plus that big black woman keeps shouting at him. “TARRRMMMAASS”

He gets too much of a bad rep. Where Jerry isn’t just defending himself. He’s enjoying it. No skin off his nose just to stay out of Tom’s way is it? But no. Little bastard. I want Tom to eat his eyes.

Totally no licence infringement here.

More likely to get called up by Aldi.  “Why did you not usesh us?”. I typed that in a heavy Dutch accent. You just couldn’t tell.

Was never a huge fan of Denver. Last of his kind? Get John Hammond on him. I wanna see Denver tied up spread eagled, like a paid for sex game. Only, with lots of him in petri dishes and him crying in a way only the last of an extinct race can.

Was a sex fiend. Pepe’ le Pedo

I’d defend myself on this, but I just can’t. Thought of it, laughed, made it, pondered not showing anyone, laughed again, posted it.

I honestly think this could be popular. I’m going to make myself loads, with different pay offs. I mean, you could have one for the whole family. Even have the dog calling a visitor a ‘piss flaps’

I realise this is very very niche’. It only works if you’re of a certain age and your Nan used to let you stop up late and watch ITV near midnight, because of her fear of the darkness of night and the disturbing mumblings of her husband as he slipped deeper and deeper into the unrelenting abyss of dementia.

just me?

Let’s be honest, sometimes I’m just a prick for the sake of it.