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We all like to be that guy or gal (or gul?) down the pub that knows a bit of bar room trivia. Sadly Google has made the point of owning information in your head pretty much redundant. Therefore, read below movie trivia you’ll find nowhere else. Just make sure your audience is pretty drunk first.

So, without further ado…

GHOST

Demi Moore made sure to keep a lid on things until after Patrick became a ghost himself. Yet she recalls;

We’d be in the middle of a scene and Pat would be all “Can you smell toast?”. I’d be all “Nah mate”. Then he’d say “Can you make me some toast? Cut the edges off because I don’t want my hair to curl”. I was flabbergasted. I mean, I’m a serious actress. I’ve met Kevin Bacon and everything.

Zooey Deschanel

Zooey Deschanel is not in fact Zooey Deschanel. She is “her that looks like that Zooey Deschanel but isn’t Zooey Deschanel”. Zooey Deschanel does not know who Zooey Deschanel is. Therefore she weeps.

AQUAMAN

We all know that ‘Aqua’ means water, but that caused trouble on set. Sex beast beefcake Jason Momoa had to break the news that he lied in his audition and in fact could NOT breathe under water. To get around this, all his underwater scenes were filmed in outer space and the water added in post filming SFX.

KATE BLANCHETT

If you cut Kate Blanchett, she bleeds snakes.

E.T.

It is widely assumed that the title refers to ‘Extra-Terrestrial’ (as it’s on the poster and shit), but it’s actually a nod to a late friend of Spielberg’s, Edward Thomas. Thomas and Spielberg were close friends as children, as Thomas didn’t join in the “Big nose Jewish cunt” chants, that followed Spielberg as a child. They later fought along side each other in a war that I couldn’t be arsed to make up. Thomas sadly died after a short struggle with being on fire. He is survived by his children Sarah, Sarah 2, and his wife, Brian.

IAN MCSHANE

Ian Mcshane has been the same age for roughly 3 decades. He is half Evergreen, on his mother’s side.

2012

Disaster movie 2012 was a huge hit, ever wonder why there wasn’t a sequel? 2013 wasn’t plausible as all the members (extras included) of the original cast WERE actually killed on set. Widely unknown, but 2012 is indeed the first Snuff film released by a major studio. Yet, due to technology breakthroughs, no one is aware that they, and everyone they’ve even known have been replaced by preprogrammed A.I. units. It’s a funny old world

CHEVY CHASE

Chevy Chase signed in for the sequel to the Wayan’s questionable comedy ‘White Chicks’. Reports are that Chase wasn’t happy with ‘Whiting up’ and that it was borderline racism. It’s stated by an unconfirmed source that Chevy told execs that they could “Kiss his black ass” and that “Momma didn’t raise no cracker ass ghost mother fuck”.

FIGHT CLUB

It’s very very unknown, but the film we come to know and love is actually the THIRD release of Fight Club. In a clever (sic) marketing ploy, the first release had the advertising seen below.

Thus not breaking the first rule of Fight Club. After this failed to convince movie goers to spend their hard earned cash as it was too vague. The attempt below became the second release.

The intention was to hint, but not totally give away the first rule…yadda yadda. This release also fell foul of the public after threats of legal action from Deaf groups

APES TRILOGY

The original premise for this loved franchise is more simple than generally thought. Writers Michael Wilson and Rod Serling (yes Twilight Zone’s Rod Serling) went to the Zoo on one of their first dates. It just so happened that Rod won Michael an attractive globe at a poorly fixed coconut shy. Alas, tragedy was to befall the lovers as Rod was tripped by a young Charles Hawtrey, who, had been stalking the couple due to his own groinal machinations for Serling. The globe sent aloft, came to rest in the cage of a number of young apes. Thus began the blood bath. The three humans watched enthralled as the primates knocked fuck out of each other for the prize. By the time there was but one ape standing upon a heaped pile of blood, hair and monkey dicks, the idea had taken form.

JESSE PLEMONS

Jesse Plemons is the model used for base moulds of unpainted Matt Damon action figures stocked in discount stores.

Jesse Plemons is made from Battenburg cake.

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