Doginawaistcoat.com

Are you sick of lame TV, the same monotonous stream of soulless drivel being poured into your eyes? Good. Me too. Also I couldn’t find a reason to get out of bed this morning, so it gave me something to do.

Trigger warning below. So you HAVE been warned.

DOGTORS: SEASON 2: Never an ordinary day at Kennel Hospital. Fluffy has started to get panic attacks at the sound of slamming doors, Max struggles with not shitting during surgery, and, will anyone find out that Rex drank from that glass, got smashed and put his red rocket thing inside that cat.

ME, AND THE GHOST OF BRUCE LEE: NEW COMEDY: After a near death experience while juggling lions, Ace lawyer Martial Knight starts seeing the ghost of the legendary Bruce Lee. How will these two opposite characters ever get along? Especially with Knight’s after dark connections to white supremacist groups? With pure (sic) hilarious consequences!!

PENSION CLUB: NEW ENTERTAINMENT: 12 Pensioners. 12 pensions. 12 hours. One winner. In this one off special, a dozen of our beloved elderly face off in battles to the death. The prize? All 12 PENSIONS and the love of Ethel.

Will Alf from Oldham’s regiment boxing skills see him through? Or will Cyril from Margate steal the prize with his in-depth knowledge of 70s cigarette cards? Also, who is the mysterious Mr Tsang, and what does he bring to the table?

THE MEAT RAPIST: NEW SITCOM: Ralf is just your normal run of the mill rapist. Yet during an unassociated accidental murder, he finds he has a particular skill for the art of the butcher. But how will he hide this shame from his friends, family and rapey friends? Could he make the two worlds come together?

SKEET-US: NEW ENTERTAINMENT: From the team that bought you ‘Kitten-Ball’ and ‘Animal Nitrate Farm’, comes this new hit show. *Apologies but can not to be shown in certain States of America*

IS IT FLAMMABLE?: NEW EDUCATIONAL: Hero Simon Weston takes us through a history of things that burn…and things that do not. At what temperature does glass form? How hot does it need to be for a family not to be able to escape a house in time? Hydrochloric Acid versus flames, which is better?